Communicating

With all the interviews I have done so far, three attributes have helped guests from my show develop their careers. The attributes are Being Personable, Learning, and Communicating.  I will explore each one of these attributes individually and in detail in this and subsequent blogs. This blog is the final and it deals with communication.

Communication is the ability to exchange information from one party to another. How well we give, receive, interpret, and respond to information not only helps us be a better version of ourselves, additionally it will also help our careers. This is what I will explore in this blog based on some of my guests' experiences from interviews. This blog will cover the following topics listening, writing, reading, public speaking, and to wrap it up with a conclusion.

Listening

Listening is a part of communication more importantly though it is hearing what the other person is saying.  A good example would be my interview with Gino Arcaro https://www.thecareerguy.ca/episodes/a-career-in-law-enforcement-and-much-more-part-2.  Working as a police officer he learned that at times situations are not black and white. It is the ability to hear someone explain something and to realize the invisible circumstances that led to the development of the present predicament.

Good people will do bad things. Not with intent, they are just having a bad day. To be able to assess this comes with the motive to understand where the person is coming from. Being unbiased helps with this. Too often we enter a conversation with the commitment to proving our point and in doing so we are missing someone else’s perspective. That is not listening.  Listening requires humility and being open-minded to hear and take in another point of view and then deliberate from there.

Furthermore, some of us have the ability to ask questions that we already know the answer to, or at least we think we do. In essence, we are digging for something. While this is fine and may rectify an immediate situation it can also be short-sighted. This is because the effect it will have on the relationship in the long run is something worth considering. Having empathy is part of communication as pointed out in Gino’s case. It is worth noting that communication is a tool that will help build relationships and if not used properly as suggested here it can hurt relations as well.

Writing

So far, I have interviewed 33 people, of which two are published authors. The writers stand out because of their command of the English language. In editing their interviews, I realized they use very few filler words, as the choice of words they use is precise. They explain everything well without the need to explain further as they pick and use descriptive nouns and verbs. The listener knows what they are talking about the first go around.

This comes from writing. When we write we pick our words more carefully to convey our ideas.  Furthermore, a part of writing is re-reading and editing our work. It is the mechanics of this process that will develop our skill in how we use words which will enable us to talk and present better. This does take time and practice, ideally, it needs to become a habit as Chris Wilson suggests in his interview https://www.thecareerguy.ca/episodes/whats-next-following-an-inner-voice.

 The process that Chris talks about is simply asking yourself how many words would be good to write every day. As a suggestion start with 100 words a day. It is this daily practice of playing with words that will help a person become a better writer which can lead to becoming a good speaker and or communicator. Also, there are perks to getting our thoughts on paper or a computer screen as for some it may be therapeutic. But more importantly, we get to see our thoughts or ideas mirrored back to us which helps us become clearer about how and what we are saying thus making a better communicator.

Reading

Reading is absorbing words and seeing how other writers are putting their thoughts together which can help a person become a good storyteller. There is no better way of explaining a concept than through a story. Peter Axtel is a prime example of this in his interview https://www.thecareerguy.ca/episodes/life-lessons-discovering-ones-passion-and-purpose-part-1.

Peter is a voracious reader and this comes through in the way he explains his life story. A person wants to listen to more of his interview as he is colorful, descriptive, and entertaining. Reading also helps us develop our knowledge base not to mention it can extend our vocabulary as well.

Public Speaking

The last part that I will talk about and is the scariest for most is public speaking. Based on my experiences working at the University of Calgary it is the researchers that can present their ideas that will get funding. This holds for entrepreneurs as well. Being a good public speaker may initiate that promotion as Sean Tyler Foley explains https://www.thecareerguy.ca/episodes/being-on-stage.

Sean coaches people with public speaking and points out that while it is scary for most, the key is understanding it is not about us. More so it is about what we know. When we are asked to give a presentation, it is because we have experiences in a topic that the audience wants to hear. Knowing this can alleviate some of the pressure.

In addition, being ourselves as Sean and some of my other guests emphasized when talking about this topic will help as well. People will see through a show. But if a person is authentic, they will be more captivating. Believe it or not, we are all interesting and when we are allowed to speak, we should embrace it as an opportunity to share our experiences. We all have something to say.

Conclusion

People want to be heard and if you let someone else know that you are hearing them the conversation will go in a good way. One thing I do when I interview people is re-iterate in my own words what someone else is saying to clarify. This will engage the other person more, but also help us to ensure that we are on the same page.

While we all want to be heard it is safe to say then we all want to speak as well.  A couple of suggestions when speaking regardless if it is to one person or a small group is: to get to the point as fast as we can use fewer words but making them count and think before we talk is the key. As our attention spans are becoming shorter than ever before and we do deal with a lot of distractions, getting to the point fast is an asset when speaking.

If someone is interrupting us when we speak it is ideal to stop and perhaps end the conversation, they do not want to hear what we have to say. It is frustrating to get attention and this will come through so it is best to stop.  However, it is important to remember people may disagree right away with what we have to say but at least we have planted a seed. We are more polarized than ever before as well. Trying to get someone to agree with us in a few minutes is hard. Above all, as indicated it is not about us more so it is what have experienced or know.

On a final note, keep sentences short and use simple words do not try to impress others These are some of the tips that I thought were worth sharing on communication.  I hope this blog helped thanks for reading.